Worth the Weight

Since I do not subscribe to any "diet" in any sense of the word, I instead try to focus on common sense eating and getting plenty of exercise. But in the interest of self preservation there are certain things that I will not let cross my lips, for a variety of reasons. One of those things is Hostess Ho Ho's or their less desirable but still quite tasty counterpart the Little Debbie Swiss Roll. I cannot allow myself to eat either of these due to the infamous Ho Ho incident of 1996. I won't go into details but lets just say it was not pretty. Another thing I will not eat is Jello. As a rule I reject most things of a gelatinous nature. Likewise, I refuse to eat cauliflower - not due to any nutritional questions I may have, in fact I have heard that it is quite lovely- I just don't like it.
On the other hand there are certain things that diet or not one probably shouldn't eat, at least with any amount of regularity. Since I am not, thank Bob, on any sort of diet I am free to eat pretty much anything I want. But since I am also trying to lose weight, I probably shouldn't eat these things as often as I want to. I tend to subscribe to the French theory of all things in moderation and the Food Inc. theory of eating whatever you want as long as you make it yourself.  Some things I am just not willing to give up, even if it does mean dragging out the old cast iron skillet.
So, #1, I am not willing to live without fried chicken. This is definitely not something I would consider eating everyday, well OK, I have considered it but not with any feasibility. I'm also not talking about the kind out of the bucket. While tasty, definitely not worth the weight. I'm talking bring home the chicken, cut it up, let it soak in buttermilk overnight, season it, dredge it, let it rest, heat up the shortening in the cast iron frying pan, fry the chicken, let it rest, eat it with your fingers fried chicken. YUM!
#2, Please do not take away my alcohol. No I am not an alcoholic, far from it. But I live in Kentucky, I like to watch sports - preferably live, I like to play the ponies, I love to have a party, my family comes from a long tradition of bourbon conosiures. There will be drinking.
#3, There will also be chocolate. Don't care about no Hershey bar. I am way to old for that. My weakness is the Bourbon Sea Salt Chocolate Covered Caramels from Ruth Hunt in Mt Sterling, KY. I don't ever want to live in a world where they don't exist.
#4, I am not a vegetarian. I grudgingly respect those that are, but I am an Omnivore. I would totally be carnivorous if it weren't for those pesky fruits and vegetables they tell me I can't live without. So I live with a compromise. I will eat my recommended daily servings of vegetables and fruits. I will lay off the refined carbs and get rid of the trans-fats. I'll eat grilled chicken and fish as much as I can but every now and then I've got to have me a big ol' slightly undercooked juicy hunk of red meat.
#5Cheese. Not Kraft singles, which really isn't even cheese by the way. Not Velveeta - don't even get me started. I like real aged cheddar, smoked cheddar, real Parmesan-reggiano, Maytag blue cheese, a nice caraway Swiss, or an artisanal goat cheese. Just real cheese. That is all.
I guess you can tell that I am a bit of a foodie. That can pose a bit of a problem when trying to lose weight and that sucks. So I suppose that I will never be a size 6 again, but neither am I willing to live on lean cuisine meals and diet soda. No more air puffed cardboard cakes for me. I will eat real food, just slightly less of it, and I will (hopefully) be a happy size 10-12. And I am good with that.

Shhhh. . .Can You Hear It?

My horoscope for today suggested that I should seek some time to myself today in order to still my mind and hear the answers that are waiting for me. I guess the universe really does have all the answers. My mind really could use some stillness today, it is really just a matter of finding the time to indulge it. But the universe says to so I suppose I should obey.
What answers am I seeking, you ask. Well, to be honest, I'm not really sure myself. Do you ever have times in your life when everything seems to be rolling towards some unknown precipice. You can feel it coming, but you don't really know what it is or when it will come. Things seem to be slightly out of control but you can't quite put your finger on just exactly what. That's where I am right now.
I'm not exactly depressed, in fact my mood is pretty good. It's more like a slight anxiety, but that's not really right either. I'm not scared or nervous or anything like that, more like just certain that something is on hte horizon for me and/or my family.
Now for the funniest thing. As I set here quietly writing this a certain calm has come over me. It occurs to me that it doesn't matter what is coming down the road for me. No one ever really knows. The best that anyone can ever do is take care of the people and things that are given to us to take care of and trust that that will be enough.
I suppose things have gotten kind of out of control this summer, as it does every summer with out of school kids and multiple and varied vacations (3 different ones so far) and so forth. Things tend to get pretty lax around here and I know enough about myself to know that I have to have a schedule, at least a rough outline of one.
The answer that has come to me is that I need to get myself and my family back on some sort of, if not schedule, at least order. Get back in the healthy eating routine and back on an exercise schedule for myself. Vacation is officially over for me now and to be quite honest, I'm OK with that. We have travelled over 4000 miles this summer travelling through 9 different states. Yes, we love a road trip. And yes, up north in Wisconsin, and down south at the beach, and way up high in the mountains is very nice. But I can now say with some authority that there is indeed no place like home.

You're Not the Boss of Me!

I finally had to say that to my scale. It was a long time coming, but in the end it was totally worth it. You see, for so long I was a slave to what that number said every morning. The number on a little plastic box that I bought at Wal Mart for less than $50 determined how my day would go.
Stupid, I know. But, evidently, not that uncommon. I was reading a post by Jules over at Big Girl Bombshell (one of my favorite bloggers BTW) and it got me to thinking about my own hate/hate relationship with the scale. It's just a number, right?
Well, yes and no. Yes it is just a number, but it's also what that number represents. All too often all I saw on the face of my scale was shame, disappointment, and failure. How could I let it get this bad? Why am I so fat? Why can't I lose the weight? What's wrong with me?
Turns out, nothing is wrong with me after all. I just didn't have the right tools. And that's all a scale is, you know, a tool. When I first realized that it was mind blowing. What a concept. The scale is just another tool in my weight loss arsenal. No different really than my calorie counter or my workout DVDs. Crazy.
So I stopped caring so much about the number. Sure I still weigh myself every morning. I know they say not to do that or you'll drive yourself crazy. But now I use the number on the scale as more of a guideline. It doesn't rule my life. I can objectively look at it and say, "oh you're up a pound. now what are you going to do to get going back in the right direction?" or "look at that down 2 pounds, must've been doing something right."
"How about we don't let the box of rats ruin our lives?" (if you don't know what that's from, well then, sorry.) And that's all that scale is, a little box of rats. I know, it's a pretty poor metaphor, but come on, it's early.
I have chosen not to let the scale rule/ruin my life. I am looking forward to the day when I reach my goal weight and feel comfortable weighing myself once a month to keep on track. I can't wait until I can feel happy living within a five pound "zone" instead of tracking every pound. But until then I will not obsess over every up and down on the scale. Instead I will use those readings as guides to what my next move should be.

Two Things That Chapped Me Today and One Thing That Made Me Smile!

No, it really doesn't take all that much to make me mad. Anyone can tell you, I have a lot of anger issues and in order not to take my rage out on my family and friends, I sometimes have to take it out on unsuspecting restaurant hostesses, gas station attendants, and airport check-in clerks, just to name a few. But today was too damn much. Really, people, if you don't like it when I tell you that you're f-ing stupid - then don't be f-ing stupid.
I finally made it to the gym this morning and hour later than usual due to technical difficulties at home. I should have known that it was going to be one of "those" days, but I did not pay attention. There were only two other people in the gym, the owner and another lady and despite the techno gospel coming over the speakers I was thinking that it might turn out OK. WRONG! What I failed to recognize was the fact that the other lady had her children with her. And our gym does not offer day care. In fact, there is a sign posted on the door and several wall throughout the facility that clearly states that children are not prohibited. Evidently this lady was one of those special people to which the rules that the rest of us must follow just do not apply. All I can say is that she was "special" all right, and so were her kids.
I realize I'm being harsh, but, hey, you weren't there, OK. I will say that the disturbance was mostly limited to one specific kid. He was everywhere. Even after the owner had told both his mom and him that she was sorry, but he just wasn't allowed in there. (Evidently there had been complaints before today's incident) He proceed to haul himself to the computer and push every button on the keyboard. BTW, the mom is just blithely continuing her workout. The owner has to stop what she's doing, run over there, and basically pull the kid away from the computer before he wrecks something. "I was just gonna play some games," he says. "This computer doesn't have any games,"she explains, "It's only for members to track their workouts." The mom just laughs as the kid proceeds to throw a fit and slam out the glass doors almost breaking them. The owner and I just look at each other in amazement. Holy crap!
Listen, I get it. My own workout suffers in the summer for lack of a babysitter. But here's the thing and it's very simple. My gym does not offer child care, ergo if I do not have a babysitter I do not go. Yes, it sucks. But it would suck way more for my kids to destroy the gym and all it's equipment while I laughingly continued my workout. Not that such a thing would ever happen. My kids know how to behave. Grrrr!
Then I get home and turn on my trusty time suck computer and what greets me but doom and gloom. According to a study by Northwestern University School of Medicine women who have more fat deposits around their hips and butts are more likely to develop memory loss later in life. What the heck. First they tell us that if we have excess weight around our middles, we are more at risk for heart disease and now if we have big asses we're doomed to dementia. Huh? Can't a girl have a little junk in her trunk anymore? I suppose that the bad news is that I'll probably have a heart attack at some point, but the good news is that I probably won't remember it. "So I've got that goin' for me, which is nice."
And finally for the one bright shining point of light in my day so far. And it's a biggie! After several weeks that scale has finally made a decidedly downward turn. I have gained and lost the same 3-4 pounds for months now, but now it appears that I have broken through and things are looking up again. Or should I say, at least as far as weight is concerned, down.

Goin' to the Country, Gonna Eat A Lot of Peaches

I could wax poetic all day about my love affair with peaches. But I'll try to contain myself. The love I have for peaches is short lived though because while there is nothing better than a fresh, ripe, juicy peach; there is also nothing worse than a hard, bland, grocery store winter peach. YUCK!
Luckily for me, we are right smack dab in the middle of peach season and I am filling my days with ways to consume them. Out of hand is an oldie but a goodie, but I think we can improve upon the concept.
How about peach salsa? Dice up a few ripe peaches, about a 1/4 cup of red onion, 1/2 a red bell pepper, and a little cilantro all tossed together with a teaspoon each of honey and red wine vinegar. Trust me, it's delicious! Try it over salmon or pork chops.
Toss a few slices of peaches in with your fresh green salad the same way you would mandarin oranges. Garnish with almonds and a raspberry vinaigrette. Makes a great side dish or you could add some left-over grilled chicken or fish and you've got a meal for those nights when it's too hot to cook.
And if all of that hasn't gotten you sick of peaches yet, you could try my all time favorite summer dessert. I feel like I could not over state this enough. Words alone are not strong enough for how I feel about this dessert. Not even mentioning the laziness factor alone, this is quite simply one of the tastiest things you will ever put in your mouth. Cobbler Shmobbler.
I'm talking about grilled peaches. Ahhhh. Just the sound of it is sexy, isn't it? Cut your peaches in half, and remove the pit. Brush LIGHTLY with oil, or better yet use no stick cooking spray. Place, flesh side down, on a super hot grill or grill pan for about a minute. Remove to plate. Drizzle with honey and top with one scoop of double churned vanilla bean ice cream or low-fat frozen yogurt. Add a sprig of mint if you're feeling fancy. Now I ask you, what other dessert could be so tasty and come in at less than 250 calories. Plus all the vitamins and fiber in the peach. BooYah!
So there you go. Millions of peaches, peaches for me. Millions of peaches, peaches for free. OK, so maybe they're not free, but they are certainly a lot cheaper when they're in season.

Salt-1, Me-0

Ever have one of those days when you wake up feeling so bloated that your eyelids don't really open all the way? You know, you can't really twist your rings on or off your fingers and your pants which fit just fine yesterday are suddenly about a size too small.
What the hell, you think. This can't be. It's not like I ate the whole Christmas ham all by myself yesterday. And it can't have been dehydration. I spent all day at the pool yesterday and consumed truly astonishing amounts of water. Trust me, I was up all night paying the price.
I did break down and have one piece of pizza, with pepperoni and everything. But I swear it was only one piece and I made allowances in my eating for the rest of the day. How much sodium can three or four pieces of pepperoni contain?
OK, OK, lesson learned. No more pizza by the pool or other such frivolities for me. It is totally not worth it and for the second day in a row I have drank water until my eyeballs are practically floating. Guess that salt lick is out of the question. Damn!

Hey, You Got Your Tickets?. . .

"What tickets?" you ask innocently.
"To the GUN SHOW!" I say flexing my biceps maniacally.
Mwaaahaahaaa!
Lame, yes, I know. But I have worked hard on my arms and as I have not yet reached my goal weight, these arms are rockin' proof that I have indeed been doing something and not just wished the weight away. If only.
My sister-in-law and I went shopping last night. Yes, I know it's been a theme with me lately but my kids and husband are gone and I have to get while the getting's good. I went chiefly for some new workout pants and cute black sandals, not I might add to wear together. I succeeded in those regards. I also walked away with some cute summer tops. Both of them sleeveless.
Sleeveless!!!!!
Previously, I would never have even considered baring my arms to the world. It was so bad at one point that I would have worn a sweatshirt over my bathing suit if I could have. No more! I always marveled at those women who, while obviously larger than myself, seemed not at all bothered by the fact that their arms were uncovered and out there. What freedom, I thought. What confidence.
Now I get it. I don't have to have the best body, I just need to have a body that I'm not ashamed of. And I'm not ashamed anymore.
In fact, I'm pretty damn proud at this point. Don't agree? Hey, you've seen my arms right?