Thursday, October 20, 2011

Fat-lapse

It's kind of like a relapse but, you know, with fat. Lovely, no?
When last we spoke I had dipped into that mythical place known as Onederland. The land where every woman who weighs over 200 pounds strives for a one-way ticket. Yeah, that didn't last so long.
It WAS sweet while it lasted, though.
photo from technorati.com
But now, I'm back up in reality land. The land where I weigh *ahem* more than 200 pounds.
OK. OK. I weigh 208 lbs. Jaaaysus! That hurt to admit. And I ain't even gonna lie. I AM PISSED!
I am pissed at myself for working so friggen hard to lose the weight and then looking the other way while it not-so-slowly crept back on. I dropped my guard for what seemed like an instant and - WHAMMO!
It may seem like only eight pounds but I cannot express the psychological toll it has taken to go from someone who was actively and visibly losing weight back to someone who has gained weight. Ugh!
That just goes to show you that you cannot ever go back to your lifestyle pre-weight loss. I cannot eat doughnuts for breakfast followed by burgers for lunch followed by mac-n-cheese for supper. I can no longer blow off workouts or half-ass my cardio.
This isn't the first time I've fallen off the wagon and I'm sure it won't be the last. At least I know that this time I have the tools to go forward. I'm not going in blind. I can do this because I have done this.