Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Never Sure What to Say

We've all been there. That compliment that we're just not quite sure how to take. Is it back-handed or genuinely well intentioned? To be honest, I've never really been that good at accepting compliments, well meant or otherwise. Even when people are just really trying to be polite I feel like I'm somehow unworthy of it so I downplay it.
I've been trying to do better. When someone gives me a compliment I've been trying to answer with a simple "Thank you." and let it go. No qualifications, no doubts. It feels good.
But there is one compliment that I'm just not too sure of. How do you take it when someone says, "You look so good. You've lost a ton of weight." Umm, yeah I have. Thanks for noticing but did I really look like such a fat slob before?
OK, yes I was fat. I'm not ashamed to admit that because I've worked (and am still working) really hard to change that. I'm not embarrassed by the fact that I was fat. Now. But I used to be terribly embarrassed by the way I looked and any time someone mentions it, it takes me back there.
I know that most people don't mean it that way. Most people are genuinely happy for me, or at least I choose to think so. My group of friends have been especially great. Most everyone has struggled with weight at one time or another and we've all been through so much together that it is impossible to keep secrets or even have hard feeling with them. When one of my friends says that she can tell that I've lost a bunch of weight it makes me feel good.
But what about just casual acquaintances? People from town or people that I only see a few times a year? Yes, I've lost weight. And yes, I'm looking pretty decent these days. But because I look good now, does that mean I looked like a total train-wreck before? I know in my head that it doesn't. But still. . .
So, that's what I'm going to be working on in the next little bit. Learning to accept compliments at their face value. See, I'm more than just a pretty face.


  1. When I saw you the other day, I thought to myself how good you looked, but then I realized you have always rocked no matter what size...my thought was more about how happy you looked when i saw you...I'm very happy for you about losing the weight, but it is even better to see you so happy with yourself...you have always been awesome in my book!!

  2. Thanks, Mindy. Friends kick ass!