Saturday, August 22, 2009

Why the KY State Fair Hates Me and Wants Me to Fail.

I just spent 24 eye-opening hours at the KY State Fair, a fairly decent state fair - to be sure. I have managed to make it almost 30yrs (4 of which I was a dedicated FFA member) and have never had to attend the state fair. Just to be clear - I hate a fair. I am one of those crabby, hateful people who hates a fair, circus, or parade, or any other gathering of "the public" in which there is merriment and joy. I would be relatively happy being a hermit, I am sure.
There was only one thing that could cause me to overlook all this bourgeois crap. It was a concert of Journey featuring Heart. That's right Journey. And Heart. Oooohhhh . . . Barracuda!
What I discovered at the fair, though, is that you CANNOT be on a diet at the fair. I felt like Templeton the rat in the animated Charlotte's Webb movie. "A fair is a veritable smorgasbord!"
There were hamburgers, hot dogs, sausages, potato ribbons, cotton candy, ice cream, a beirgarten, corn dogs ( a personal downfall ), and of course, the obligatory funnel cake. Damn the fair! We had to walk almost a mile to and back from our hotel to the concert so I felt that a corndog was justified. Come on, it's a literal State Fair Corn dog. And truthfully, it was the most delicious cord dog I've ever had in my life. And I consider myself a (former) connoisseur.
So, bottom line: Concert - awesome. The new lead singer for Journey kicks ass! And Heart, come on. If I can still rock out when I'm in my 50s then everybody else can, as my favorite comedian Kathy Griffen says, suck it! But do not go if you are watching what you eat and can't deal w/ temptation. Unless, of course, there is a kick ass concert that you absolutely can't miss.
Next up U2 and The Black Eyed Peas in Oklahoma in October. I can hardly wait. For U2 I would brave any corndog - State Fair or otherwise.

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