Friday, August 14, 2009

Can you airbrush away my outrage?

This morning on the Today show was a story about Kelly Clarkson being on the cover of SELF magazine. The story was allegedly about Clarkson being comfortable with her body. She is quoted as saying that when asked about her weight she feels: "you seem to have a problem with it. I don't. I'm fine." Awesome! How great to hear a celebrity that is comfortable with her curves. Now, to be fair, Miss Clarkson is by no means fat. She is however what I like to call Hollywood fat. That is defined by not being a size 4 or below and looking like a 14 year old boy with big ol' fake boobs.
Hollywood fat is what Jessica Simpson is. But unlike J.Simps, Clarkson is not going into hiding aka fat camp. She's not going to endorse Jenny Craig or NutraSystem or anything like that at this time. By the way I hate that commercial where that skinny bitch Zora tells us how she went from a size 10 to a size 2 on NutraSystem. Bitch, size 10 is my goal weight. Get over yourself.
But back to Kelly Clarkson. SELF magazine's angle has always been to make women comfortable with the selfs they are now while helping them to achieve their body goals. The story on Clarkson had pictures of her during a recent performance where there was noticeable . . . umm . . . junk in her trunk, shall we say? And fuller arms and a tummy. They addressed reports by her critics that said that Clarkson has let her weight go. Clarkson responded in the above mentioned quote and others that she was perfectly happy with her body and that any problem that other people had with her appearance was their own problem, not hers. Sounds like a very healthy attitude, yes?
Well, yes. As long as it stays inside the magazine covers. But whatever goes on the cover must go the way of Cosmo and Glamour. Even for a self-help magazine, what goes on the cover must be the most beautiful, most sexy, most unattainable that ever was. In a story that praises Kelly Clarkson for her healthy attitude towards her body SELF magazine retouched her cover photo. Not just retouched in the sense that they cover up her under-eye circles or blended out a panty line. These cover editors decided to visibly shave off several pounds of Miss Clarkson's self-described wonderful curves. It would appear to be the case that the editors don't really read the stories that fill in the space between their covers.
What the hell? I can't decide what pisses me off more. The fact that this magazine that had heretofore given the appearance, at least, of embracing all body types, has now gone glam. Or the fact that when I take my family's annual Christmas card photo nobody will be in a studio working feverishly to airbrush away my baby belly and bingo wings.

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