The Third Ring of Hell

Let me just start this post by saying that I love love love to shop! Could shop all day. I'm a firm believer in retail therapy to cure what ails you. My favorite vice is things for my home. A nice vase, a lamp, some beautiful drapes - how exciting. But now it's time to dress, not my nest, but myself. I seem to have put it off way too long.
I have skated by on too big jackets and shirts, dryer shrunk jeans, and an impressive repetoir of yoga pants. Now my 10th Anniversary of being married to Hubby is coming up and he is taking me on a short trip to celebrate. (He is really more of a trip giver than a gift giver, which is fine by me. : ) ) The down side to this whole thing is that I will need to pack a suitcase. CRAP! As my sister-in-law will tell you, I will put off packing my suitcase for any trip until it is practically time to pull out of the driveway. And I always forget something. Thank goodness there's a WalMart on every corner now.
The problem now is not so much that I don't want to pack, but that I really have nothing to pack. I seriously have like one pair of white pants that I love! and a couple of much loved and much worn sun dresses. This does not a summer vacation wardrobe make.
Add to that the fact that my mother has decided to come and kidnap take my kids to her house for a fun-filled week at Gran's. It's like the universe is telling me, "Go buy new clothes. You have no excuse."
And you should neeeevvver ignore the universe. So I suppose I will take myself to the mall. CRAP! Oh well, there's always Sephora!

I Always Knew I was Cool But. . .

I think I may have started something. Or at least that's what I keep telling myself. When I got my weighted hula hoop no one in the world (outside of my trainer, of course) had heard of such a thing. "That's nothing but a toy," Hubby protested. "Not if you're doing it right," I countered. Besides I'd like to see his big butt get up and do it. Haaaaa!
But now I have unequivocal proof that the hula hoop is a bonafied piece of workout equipment. The super-great Gabby Reece has endorsed the hula hoop and has even come out with a workout routing that you can do with your hula hoop, weighted or otherwise. Check her out on her website http://www.gabbydaily.com/2010/06/hula-hooping-is-hard-core/ and on the Honey Line at http://www.thehoneyline.com/ for more information on the hooping workout and Gabby's just general awesomeness.
I can attest to the effectiveness of the hula hoop. Since using it I have lost inches around my middle and my balance and posture have definitely improved. And besides all of that, it's just flippin' fun. So Fat Girl Slim says to go out and get thy self a hula hoop.

And the Winner Is. . .

Today, as evidenced by the fireworks and hotdogs, is the fourth of July. Independence Day. Here at Fat Girl Slim I have decided to be independent from dieting. In honor of that I had a give away going on in which any new or current follower would be eligible for a Independence From Dieting prize package. This includes a Dance Off the Pounds DVD, a BPA free water bottle, a pedometer, and a few other goodies all designed to help foster a healthier lifestyle and not just fad dieting.
I'm excited to say that after a totally fair drawing* the winner is a new follower, Andrea McCleese! So Andrea, congratulations and welcome to the blog, invite your friends to follow, and feel free to comment. Look for your prize to be delivered before the end of the week.

*by totally fair I mean that my brother installed some sort of randomizing software on my computer and I don't really know how it works, but I put every ones name in and push a button and - ouila! Magic! I think I will start using it to decide what to have for dinner. Kind of like 21st century magic 8 ball.

Disapointment Rides High

I totally carbed-out yesterday. Why, you might ask? Was it a stressful day? Kids driving you nuts? Hubby being hateful? Nope. Just lost my mind, I guess. And when I say carbed-out, I ain't a lyin'. I'm talking about full on, diabetic coma inducing, bread fest.
The day started out innocently enough. Had a healthy breakfast of whole wheat toast w/ homemade sugar-free strawberry jam. Had an amazing workout at the gym then took the babies to our nearby state park for a bit of a hike and a picnic of turkey on whole wheat pita, laughing cow lite cheese wedges, fresh fruit, and yogurt. The kids splashed around in the creek for a bit then we packed up and came home. I did a bit of yard work while the kids played outside. Then we all came in for a snack. They wanted granola bars and chocolate milk, which I provided. Then I proceeded to eat the rest of the pack of pitas. (2 pitas - dry) WTF? What in the world was I smokin'? And I swear smokin' grass makes about as much sense as anything for the munchies that followed.
I realized that I was going down a path that was self-destructive. I tried to snap out of it and eat a healthier dinner. I had earlier put in a chicken to roast with rosemary and thyme. I planned on serving it w/ fresh green beans and thick slices of tomato. Healthy, no? When everything was done the kids were starving. I, of course, not so much. So I fed the kids and tried to distract myself with a few household chores. As it got closer to 8:00 I figured I had better eat something because I didn't want to leave it to too late and I knew if I didn't eat anything before going to bed I would feel like dirt in the morning. So, I ate chicken. That's it, just chicken. Then to top that all off, I ate a few pieces of raisin bread. OK, four, but I can only plead chemical induced hysteria. The chemical being simple sugar.
So, I work up this morning feeling like dirt anyway and maybe even lower than that. A plan, yeah that's it. I need a plan. So hear it is. I started breakfast with yogurt and juice. Gonna do a super cardio workout (might as well use all those carbs to fuel something) then gonna have a moderately sized green salad for lunch. Gonna flush out my system with mass quantities of water and green tea. And gonna hula hoop until I can't hoop no more. And most of all, I am absolutely not gonna eat any simple carbs.

Seriously!?!?

OK, I know I've bitched about this before, but it's kind of a big deal and well, it just doesn't stop making me mad. Skinny jeans! And gladiator sandals!
Are you kidding me? I suppose they are cute - in a hungry sort of way. But if you weigh more than, oh I don't know, 100 pounds you can't possibly hope to pull off the skinny jeans. Gladiator sandals are a slightly different animal in that you don't necessarily have to be a certain size to wear them. Other than the fact that you probably shouldn't have cankles, which of course leaves me out. And as any big girl knows the goal is to make your legs look longer and leaner and cutting them off visually at the ankle is probably not the best way to do that.
So there you go. Skinny jeans and gladiator sandals can suck it. The fashion police really should just declare that sausage casings are going to be the new must have for fall. It would be less cruel.

Never Sure What to Say

We've all been there. That compliment that we're just not quite sure how to take. Is it back-handed or genuinely well intentioned? To be honest, I've never really been that good at accepting compliments, well meant or otherwise. Even when people are just really trying to be polite I feel like I'm somehow unworthy of it so I downplay it.
I've been trying to do better. When someone gives me a compliment I've been trying to answer with a simple "Thank you." and let it go. No qualifications, no doubts. It feels good.
But there is one compliment that I'm just not too sure of. How do you take it when someone says, "You look so good. You've lost a ton of weight." Umm, yeah I have. Thanks for noticing but did I really look like such a fat slob before?
OK, yes I was fat. I'm not ashamed to admit that because I've worked (and am still working) really hard to change that. I'm not embarrassed by the fact that I was fat. Now. But I used to be terribly embarrassed by the way I looked and any time someone mentions it, it takes me back there.
I know that most people don't mean it that way. Most people are genuinely happy for me, or at least I choose to think so. My group of friends have been especially great. Most everyone has struggled with weight at one time or another and we've all been through so much together that it is impossible to keep secrets or even have hard feeling with them. When one of my friends says that she can tell that I've lost a bunch of weight it makes me feel good.
But what about just casual acquaintances? People from town or people that I only see a few times a year? Yes, I've lost weight. And yes, I'm looking pretty decent these days. But because I look good now, does that mean I looked like a total train-wreck before? I know in my head that it doesn't. But still. . .
So, that's what I'm going to be working on in the next little bit. Learning to accept compliments at their face value. See, I'm more than just a pretty face.

Things That Make You Go, "Hmmmm. . ."

My new obsession (aside from my Kindle) is the Boomerang channel on TV. Does anyone else have this channel? It's basically all the old Hanna Barbera -and otherwise fabulous- cartoon from back in the day. Flintstones, Jetsons, Smurfs, Magilla Gorilla, Top Cat, Yogi Bear, and even Rocky and Bullwinkle. I love it.
But I have noticed something, not so much disturbing as just, well, weird. I can report that there are no over-weight female cartoon characters. Well, except for that time that Mama Cass was on Scooby Doo, but that doesn't really count because she was a real-life person and much as they would have liked to, the animators couldn't very well draw Mama Cass the same size as Michelle Phillips. Have you noticed, though? Wilma and Betty - skinny. Daphne and even Velma - thin. Even Natasha was Russian Bond-girl slender.
So what the heck? I haven't really noticed this in todays cartoons but I think this has more to do with the fact that my kids watch things like Spongebob Squarepants and I don't think Sandy the Squirell could be classified as skinny or otherwise.
I'm thinking this merits further investigation. So don't call. I'm going to pack my pic-i-nic basket with healthy snacks and bring in those pesky kids for a Throw Back Cartoon Marathon. Have a Smurftastic Day.