All By Myself. . .Don't Wanna Be All By Myself Anymore

As a stay-at-home mom of two very active and loudly opinionated kids I spend a lot of my time fantasizing about what I would do if I actually had a weekend to myself. No kids, no husband, just me. Now, don't get me wrong. I love my kids (and Hubs too, I guess), but come on. What mom hasn't fantasized about a big ol' bubble bath, some wine, a good book, maybe a girlie movie or some such foolery - and NO ONE to share it with. The problem is, I never really expected to get it.
My kids left yesterday and all I can think about is a quote from Spock (you know, the Vulcan. Star Trek). "Having is not so pleasing a thing as wanting. It is highly illogical, but often true." Don't ask me why I know a quote from Star Trek. I don't know. I suspect that Spock actually lifted the quote from someone else. But that's beside the point. The point being that I had built up this dream weekend in my head and the reality just kind of, well. . .sucks.
I spent last night with my best girl friends and it was sooooo much fun. Let me just say that if you have never gotten all dressed up in your fanciest clothes and gone to eat at a truck stop with eight of your best, and similarly dressed, friends - you don;t know the fun you're missing. But after the last friend left my house at midnight last night, and all the wine glasses had made their way to the sink, and all the trash in the cans, I just kind of sighed in boredom. There were no babies to check on, no alarm to set, not even a hubby to snuggle up with.
I decided that I would no waste today. It has been a gift to have this time alone and I am going to use it to my advantage. Sooo, I made a list of things I wanted to accomplish today. Go to gym - check. Wrap mothers day presents - check. Make green bean salad for mothers day cookout - check. Do my extra 30 minutes of cardio - check. Bath the dog - check. Do a load of delicates - check. By this point it was only 1:00. No lie. WTH? Why is it that I can barely get half this stuff done before bedtime when the kids are here?
So I went to WalMart. Big mistake. Huge huge mistake. It is not too far removed from the first of the month and it's the last day before mothers day. Let's just say that the website http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/ is not just a novelty. As with most cliches, there is always truth behind them. I think I saw the third woman down in aisle 3.
So now I'm home. It's still only 5:00. I think I'll see what's on TV and then maybe take that bubble bath that sounded so good previously. I have at least learned something from this whole episode though. You know how you see dogs chasing cars and you wonder what they would do with it if they caught it. I know. Evidently they would do the same thing I have done all day. Stand around scratching their heads going, "Well, hmmph. Now what?"

Who knew?!?!?!

Today was the day I had set aside for gardening and unlike most things on my to-do list, I actually did it. Most things do get done, eventually. But today was gardening day and gardening I did. It felt good.
I like gardening. It is very soothing and relaxing and I am one of those weird people who likes to play in the dirt. The one thing gardening is not, though, is easy. It is wicked hard work.
There's the bending and pulling, the lifting and digging. And the walking and carrying - good grief, the carrying. But when you're all done you have a beautiful lush green garden to enjoy.
We do enjoy it, too. My family and I are lucky enough to live on a lush hillside in Appalachia. We can look off our back deck and see nothing but the tree tops below us. Seriously, when the Air Force does fly-bys (which they do here often) they are BELOW us. The view from the back of my house is amazing and the view from the front is only slightly less spectacular. So I try to plant things that enhance all the green we got going on here. I plant lots of cool colors in the pots on my deck because they complement the shady area. And by the front porch I plant hot pink to accent my front door. Plus, I have a butt load several shrubs and perennials that need fertilized and mulched and tended. This year I also planted a climbing rose on the side of the house that I thought would look charming growing up the side of my brick house.
Gardening is also one of those activities that allows you time to think. Actually hear your own thoughts instead of mentally making a grocery list or listening for the dryer to ding out of one ear. Today, as I was sweating carrying 40lb bags of mulch, I got to thinking about gardening as exercise.
Now normally, I don't count my household activities as exercise. I just consider it part of my lifestyle. But the kind of gardening I was doing today was definitely not part of my day to day activities. So I hit google when I came inside and found out (by averaging the results of several different sites) that I could be burning up to 289 calories an hour. Holy Crap! Seriously? Since I was out there for about 2 1/2 - 3 hours I figure I burned about 723 calories. YIKES!
So now I'm wondering a couple of things. Like, how many other calories do we neglect to realize we're burning? And, do you think any of my neighbors need their spring gardening work done?

Alive and Kickin'

I'm back, for those that care. And well, those that don't can go to hell. (RIP Dixie Carter). I took a little break from the blog because, well, I wanted to. No I did not take a break from my eating or exercise plans. But I might as well have for all the good it did me. Or didn't do, as the case would be.
Anyways, the long and the short of it is this. I just today broke through a 5 week (no shit- 5 week) plateau. I think 5 weeks counts more as a stall out and I think my trainer kind of did too, 'cause she suggested I get my thyroid checked. And maybe I will, but just not right now. I lost weight this week, bitches, so suck it, thyroid!
It's really amazing when you think about it, that after a weekend such as I just had that any weight at all was lost. I spent the past month tracking what I was eating like a mad person and doubling up on exercise just to see the scale mock me. Finally I get fed up and say F it and go on a weekend pleasure spree at the horse track and, Voila - plateau busted. Maybe that's what my metabolism needed all along. A swift kick in the arse.
Also said weekend has left me with a severe sunburn and a stuffy nose from what the "bubble-headed bleach blond that comes on at 5" tells me is a record breaking year for tree pollen. How very helpful. But whatever. Not gonna slow me down.
I have a Northwoods lakehouse vacation coming up in 6 weeks, followed by a week at the beach with my babies. Then later in the summer Hubby and I will be taking a second honeymoon to mark our 10th wedding anniversary. So, you see, I need to be in shape.
Last summer I had a bit of a problem staying on track. As this summer looms ahead I am determined not to let that happen again. I am going to come up with some sort of plan and - here's where the details get a little sketchy - I'm gonna stick to it. No, seriously!
Hubby has promised me a shopping trip worthy of Clinton Kelly if I can get to my goal weight and I intend to take him up on it. He's gonna be SORRY. he he he. (you can't see me, but I am greedily rubbing my hands together, while practicing my evil smirk)
Oh, and UPDATE! I killed two birds with one stone. I kicked my magazine habit and with the money I'm saving I hired a cleaning lady. I love her! She only comes once every two weeks, but man! She gets more done on that day than I manage to do the other 13. Girl is good!
So, there you have it. Nothing terribly witty or earth-shattering or even very ironic today. Just back in the groove and feeling pretty good.

Phase Two and Other Life Altering Realizations

This week, I'm on Phase Two of the Curves Weight Management Plan. This consists of (like Phase One) at least three days in the gym, plus an aerobic workout every day. Also instead of starving on 1200 calories a day, I can feast on a relatively bountiful 1500. Whoo Hoo. Who would have thought that 1500 calories a day would sound like such a cornucopia?
Of course, it's only 300 extra calories a day, but hell. I've been able to add in a few whole grains and even the occasional small baked sweet potato - luxury of luxuries! I love them suckers with a bit of spray butter and cinnamon. Mmmm!
Perversely though, my daily workouts have become a bit harder. Not a lot, but when you track your progress on a daily basis - it shows up. I don't know if this is just a natural week two progression or just some freak that will work itself out next week.
Whatever, I've felt better and had more energy this week than I'd had in a while. I've even gotten more done around the house. Almost like I had been neglecting not just my body, but every aspect of my life as well. Even my daughter commented that I seemed like I was in such a good mood this week. Funny thing is, I hadn't noticed until she said something.
Bless that child. Her and her brother are - if not my whole life - at least the most important part of my life. And I thank them because if not for them, I maybe wouldn't have the motivation to get healthier. I want to be here for them. And not just physically. I know this is incredibly shallow but I don't want to embarrass them. I don't want my kids to have "the FAT mom".
One of these days when my daughter is a doctor and my son is an NFL O-Lineman, I want them to be able to say that their mom inspired them to take care of their bodies and stay healthy. What a compliment that would be.
Besides when I get my own Campbell's Chunky Soup commercial - I want to look good!

Phase 1

I don't know if anybody does Curves, much less the weight management program that they offer. But, I am currently in love with it. Curves, as you probably know, is a women's only gym that works you out by a combo of circuit training and aerobic activity. I didn't know if I would like it at first because, you know, women are bitches. However, after attending for almost a year now I must say the bitches are few and far between. For the most part every one is super supportive. Even the ladies who have already achieved their goal weight are awesome. It's nice to see someone who started out where you are succeed. Or maybe I just am at a place in my life where I'm willing to accept change in myself. Wow - pretty profound, right?
Anyways, Curves offers a weight management class that literally kicks ass. It consists of three phases, all of which are totally doable. (for the record, I did this program last year and lost a butt load of weight. Don't ask me why I didn't stay on it. I don't know)
The first phase, strangely enough named Phase One, is where I'm at right now and it is by far the hardest part of the whole diet. Luckily it only lasts for one week. I figure I can pretty much put up with anything for one week. Well, except for vacations with the in-laws. And country music. And maybe if they ran out of Vitamin Water 10. Oh, and I absolutely can't stand when it's a full moon and your dog acts all crazy. OK, so maybe there's not much I could put up with for a week, but this I can.
It consists of eating 1200 calories a day. I know, not a lot. But like I said, it's only a week. The idea is that this calorie reduction jump starts your metabolism and kind of kicks it into over drive. You also have to workout at least three times a week. Usually I shoot for 4-5 plus walking most days, so 3 days a week is not a problem. Curves says that it is normal to lose 5-7 lbs. on Phase One.
However, don't get all giddy. While it is, of course, awesome to lose that amount of weight in one week - it is not sustainable. Nor is it smart. After the first week you absolutely must go off of Phase One. You cannot maintain a 1200 calorie/ day regiment with any hope of lasting success. Your body will simply go into starvation mode and will actually hold onto the weight. Of course, if you keep up 1200 cals / day for very long you will probably lose weight. However, the likelihood of that weight creeping back on - or in my case, crashing back on like a wave on the beach - is extremely high.
After Phase One week, comes logically Phase Two. There will be more on this next week. Suffice it to say that you are allowed 1500 calories a day. This is still a reduced number sufficient to weight loss, but you are also not starving yourself. A definite plus, in my opinion. Not a big fan of starving, me.
I started on Monday so I'm almost halfway through. I'm a bit hungry when I go to bed tonight, but nothing unbearable. I've not had quite enough energy, but so far it hasn't interfered with my day to day activities. I can totally see how it would, though, if you kept it up for any amount of time. And the most prevalent side effect I can say for Phase One? The Bitchys. Like I said, women, you know? Take away my carbs and look out! Not that this diet is by any way carb free - they strongly encourage whole grains - but on 1200 calories, it's a little hard to get a lot of carbs. If it's a choice of having a huge-ass salad (btw that's a technical diet term - huge-ass salad) or a bagel. Well, I'm in favor of anything that has huge ass in the title.
I have even come to love my own huge ass. Sure I want to lose weight, but I want to keep the booty. If I could just lose the tummy and the thighs, I would rock this ass all over the state. Beyonce who? I wonder if Beyonce has ever even heard of Phase One? I doubt it, but I'm sure that any woman must be in favor of a smart healthy way to lose weight and keep it off. Because believe me, I am not working this damn hard just to gain all the weight back.