Hubby: "Hey, dear. Where's my khaki pants?"
Me: "They are in the washing machine with my khaki pants."
Hubby (with disbelief): "But they weren't dirty!"
Me (smacking my forehead with sarcasm): "I'm sorry. I just assumed since they were on the bathroom floor. . ."
Guess it's a good thing I did an hour at the gym this morning. ; )
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Friday, July 30, 2010
Wouldn't It Be Nice If. . .
Wouldn't it be nice if one morning I could wake up and not think about what I'm going to eat throughout the day? Or just exactly how much time I can devote to getting the maximum workout? Or how in the world am I going to have the time to workout, go to the store, do everything that needs done at the house, and still have time to cook two different but equally healthy dinners?
Wouldn't it be nice to go to the mall with friends and be able to go in any shop and find clothes that fit? What would it be like not to have to shop exclusively in the "plus" or "women's" or the absolute worst "extended" sizes? I would like to be able to go shopping with my friends and come home with more than a purse or shoes or makeup. Those things are lovely, yes, but I shouldn't have to be reduced to buying my clothes online and having them come to my house in unmarked wrappers like fricken' porn. Although come to think of it the porn wouldn't be nearly as embarrassing as some of the sized I've let myself be resigned to in the past.
Wouldn't it be nice to not be the fat friend? The funny one? The one with such a pretty face? Wouldn't it be nice, at least just once, to be the hot one?
Mostly I wonder what it would be like not to wonder these things. What if my weight were not an issue? What will happen when I actually make my goal weight? Wouldn't it be nice if we could celebrate our accomplishments instead of zeroing in on our shortcomings?
Wouldn't it be nice to go to the mall with friends and be able to go in any shop and find clothes that fit? What would it be like not to have to shop exclusively in the "plus" or "women's" or the absolute worst "extended" sizes? I would like to be able to go shopping with my friends and come home with more than a purse or shoes or makeup. Those things are lovely, yes, but I shouldn't have to be reduced to buying my clothes online and having them come to my house in unmarked wrappers like fricken' porn. Although come to think of it the porn wouldn't be nearly as embarrassing as some of the sized I've let myself be resigned to in the past.
Wouldn't it be nice to not be the fat friend? The funny one? The one with such a pretty face? Wouldn't it be nice, at least just once, to be the hot one?
Mostly I wonder what it would be like not to wonder these things. What if my weight were not an issue? What will happen when I actually make my goal weight? Wouldn't it be nice if we could celebrate our accomplishments instead of zeroing in on our shortcomings?
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
WTH2O
Have you been down the water aisle in the supermarket lately? I know, right, a water aisle? But anyone who is or has ever tried to lose weight knows the importance of drinking water. Or staying hydrated, is I suppose the new term. Whatever. When I'm thirsty, I'm thirsty and that is that. I try to get all of my 8 glasses of water a day, but I gotta say some days it's a challenge. So I decided to conduct a little experiment of my own.
I took a proactive approach to the supermarket water aisle and decided to try, if not all, at least a whole freakin' lot of different waters. How many different kinds of water can there be, you ask? Well, I will tell you.
First I bought several different brands of plain old water flavored water and I feel good saying that, hold on to your hats here, there's really not that much difference in flavor. I'm really not a fan of bottled water for environmental reasons and at home rely on a refrigerator filtration system and reusable bottles. That will continue to be my favorite. I also like the Crystal Lite flavors that you can get to mix in with your 16-20oz bottle of water. Most of them are in the 5 calorie range with a few of the energy or metabolism or hunger varieties going up to 30 calories. Still a waaaay better choice than even diet pop.
Next I tried a few of the grocery store brand carbonated flavored waters. Pretty good and I will probably buy them again. I liked the flavors, especially the black cherry and the lemon lime, and since it's carbonated it fills in nicely for diet pop in a pinch.
Then I hit the newest craze of "fitness waters". SoBe life water I did not care much for, but to be fair I only tried the lemonade flavor and it had a definite herbal flavor that I found objectionable but not totally unpalatable. Some of the people I talked to really like this product, so I think it must be a matter of personal taste here.
Then I moved onto the Vitamin Water Zero. It had, believe it or not, zero calories and miracle of miracles actually tastes good. The flavors are really nice and refreshing and each one is geared with specific vitamins and minerals added towards a specific purpose. Like the go-go flavor with extra B vitamins for energy. I don't know if it really made a difference in my energy levels but it tasted nice and was easy to chug back during a super hot workout.
Now, I will admit to being sucked in by the whole O.N.E. coconut water craze. You've seen all the pictures of celebrities carrying it around in their skinny red-stringed wrists. I thought that they must be on to something and since it is an actual natural product with no additives or added sugar and sporting tons of natural electrolytes and more potassium than a banana, I figured this one would be a slam dunk. Especially when it was on sale at my local Kroger. $1 is a small price to pay for a taste of the good life, right? First let me say that O.N.E. coconut water tastes nothing like coconut, which is disappointing to say the least. What it does taste like, and I feel that I am not overstating things here, ice cold vomit. I could not even finish the whole 8oz carton and when I finally gave up I considered licking the dogs ass just to get the taste out of my mouth. Sorry, O.N.E. people, but I really really REALLY did not enjoy your product. I would have to be just this side of actual dehydration to ever consider putting that stuff in my mouth again, and even then I'd have to think about it.
The conclusion: Water is Water. Flavored is good, plain is even better, and if you get it out of your tap and put it in your own reusable bottle its the best. Now stop harping on how hydrated you are or need to be and shut up and drink your water.
I took a proactive approach to the supermarket water aisle and decided to try, if not all, at least a whole freakin' lot of different waters. How many different kinds of water can there be, you ask? Well, I will tell you.
First I bought several different brands of plain old water flavored water and I feel good saying that, hold on to your hats here, there's really not that much difference in flavor. I'm really not a fan of bottled water for environmental reasons and at home rely on a refrigerator filtration system and reusable bottles. That will continue to be my favorite. I also like the Crystal Lite flavors that you can get to mix in with your 16-20oz bottle of water. Most of them are in the 5 calorie range with a few of the energy or metabolism or hunger varieties going up to 30 calories. Still a waaaay better choice than even diet pop.
Next I tried a few of the grocery store brand carbonated flavored waters. Pretty good and I will probably buy them again. I liked the flavors, especially the black cherry and the lemon lime, and since it's carbonated it fills in nicely for diet pop in a pinch.
Then I hit the newest craze of "fitness waters". SoBe life water I did not care much for, but to be fair I only tried the lemonade flavor and it had a definite herbal flavor that I found objectionable but not totally unpalatable. Some of the people I talked to really like this product, so I think it must be a matter of personal taste here.
Then I moved onto the Vitamin Water Zero. It had, believe it or not, zero calories and miracle of miracles actually tastes good. The flavors are really nice and refreshing and each one is geared with specific vitamins and minerals added towards a specific purpose. Like the go-go flavor with extra B vitamins for energy. I don't know if it really made a difference in my energy levels but it tasted nice and was easy to chug back during a super hot workout.
Now, I will admit to being sucked in by the whole O.N.E. coconut water craze. You've seen all the pictures of celebrities carrying it around in their skinny red-stringed wrists. I thought that they must be on to something and since it is an actual natural product with no additives or added sugar and sporting tons of natural electrolytes and more potassium than a banana, I figured this one would be a slam dunk. Especially when it was on sale at my local Kroger. $1 is a small price to pay for a taste of the good life, right? First let me say that O.N.E. coconut water tastes nothing like coconut, which is disappointing to say the least. What it does taste like, and I feel that I am not overstating things here, ice cold vomit. I could not even finish the whole 8oz carton and when I finally gave up I considered licking the dogs ass just to get the taste out of my mouth. Sorry, O.N.E. people, but I really really REALLY did not enjoy your product. I would have to be just this side of actual dehydration to ever consider putting that stuff in my mouth again, and even then I'd have to think about it.
The conclusion: Water is Water. Flavored is good, plain is even better, and if you get it out of your tap and put it in your own reusable bottle its the best. Now stop harping on how hydrated you are or need to be and shut up and drink your water.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Just Another Day in the Life
My blogger dashboard was in a full on hissy fit yesterday such that I could not spread my usual sunshine so today you get the double dose. I haven't been in the best mood as of late and I'm not exactly sure of the reason. Perhaps it is the oppressive heat that is sweeping the country (104 degrees day before yesterday) or it could be that the scale hasn't been as cooperative as I think that it should be, but then again what else is new?. And now, just to see if I can bring the rest of you down, a few hard truths for your day.
Just because your muscles are sore from a workout does not mean that you should take the day off from exercise, according to this month's issue of Women's Health magazine. We build muscle by creating tiny little tears in our muscle fibers and when they repair themselves more muscle tissue is built - more or less. So as long as you are eating adequate amounts of protein to facilitate muscle production you should have no problem with back to back workouts. The only catch is that sore and over worked muscles are more prone to injury. So if your legs are screaming from yesterday's squats focus today on upper body and vice versa. The only exception is your abdominal muscles which require very little if any recovery time seeing as how they are designed to move and flex with practically every movement of our bodies.
Also I have found a new motivator to amp up my diet and exercise routine. It goes like this - Losing weight and fitting into smaller size clothing = very good! having said clothing be tight and not hang off your body like the larger size = not so good. Nothing like a newsausage casing pair of workout pants to make a girl see the trouble areas. As is I were unaware.
And lastly, this. Calories that you eat on vacation are just as real as calories that you consume at home. I know, right? I was shocked too! I mean what is the point of working so hard to be able to go on vacation if you can't even enjoy it once you're there? Or if you are like me, you say "screw it" and let yourself enjoy your vacation with wild abandon then suffer terrible amounts of guilt and depression once you get home. I mean, really, was that ginormous cinnamon roll really worth the extra fat and calories? I guess you just gotta pick and chose. Like the really yummy sweet potato casserole I had at one restaurant was totally worth the fat and calories, plus I got the added vitamin A and fiber from the sweet potatoes. But the aforementioned cinnamon roll, not so much. No redeeming nutritional qualities whatsoever, and the worst part is - it wasn't even the best cinnamon roll I've ever had. Ah, you live and learn I guess.
So there you have it, sports fans. Your daily dose of sunshine without all of that pesky vitamin D and s#*t! Enjoy it. And tune in next time when I'll try not to be so damn chipper.
Just because your muscles are sore from a workout does not mean that you should take the day off from exercise, according to this month's issue of Women's Health magazine. We build muscle by creating tiny little tears in our muscle fibers and when they repair themselves more muscle tissue is built - more or less. So as long as you are eating adequate amounts of protein to facilitate muscle production you should have no problem with back to back workouts. The only catch is that sore and over worked muscles are more prone to injury. So if your legs are screaming from yesterday's squats focus today on upper body and vice versa. The only exception is your abdominal muscles which require very little if any recovery time seeing as how they are designed to move and flex with practically every movement of our bodies.
Also I have found a new motivator to amp up my diet and exercise routine. It goes like this - Losing weight and fitting into smaller size clothing = very good! having said clothing be tight and not hang off your body like the larger size = not so good. Nothing like a new
And lastly, this. Calories that you eat on vacation are just as real as calories that you consume at home. I know, right? I was shocked too! I mean what is the point of working so hard to be able to go on vacation if you can't even enjoy it once you're there? Or if you are like me, you say "screw it" and let yourself enjoy your vacation with wild abandon then suffer terrible amounts of guilt and depression once you get home. I mean, really, was that ginormous cinnamon roll really worth the extra fat and calories? I guess you just gotta pick and chose. Like the really yummy sweet potato casserole I had at one restaurant was totally worth the fat and calories, plus I got the added vitamin A and fiber from the sweet potatoes. But the aforementioned cinnamon roll, not so much. No redeeming nutritional qualities whatsoever, and the worst part is - it wasn't even the best cinnamon roll I've ever had. Ah, you live and learn I guess.
So there you have it, sports fans. Your daily dose of sunshine without all of that pesky vitamin D and s#*t! Enjoy it. And tune in next time when I'll try not to be so damn chipper.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Worth the Weight
Since I do not subscribe to any "diet" in any sense of the word, I instead try to focus on common sense eating and getting plenty of exercise. But in the interest of self preservation there are certain things that I will not let cross my lips, for a variety of reasons. One of those things is Hostess Ho Ho's or their less desirable but still quite tasty counterpart the Little Debbie Swiss Roll. I cannot allow myself to eat either of these due to the infamous Ho Ho incident of 1996. I won't go into details but lets just say it was not pretty. Another thing I will not eat is Jello. As a rule I reject most things of a gelatinous nature. Likewise, I refuse to eat cauliflower - not due to any nutritional questions I may have, in fact I have heard that it is quite lovely- I just don't like it.
On the other hand there are certain things that diet or not one probably shouldn't eat, at least with any amount of regularity. Since I am not, thank Bob, on any sort of diet I am free to eat pretty much anything I want. But since I am also trying to lose weight, I probably shouldn't eat these things as often as I want to. I tend to subscribe to the French theory of all things in moderation and the Food Inc. theory of eating whatever you want as long as you make it yourself. Some things I am just not willing to give up, even if it does mean dragging out the old cast iron skillet.
So, #1, I am not willing to live without fried chicken. This is definitely not something I would consider eating everyday, well OK, I have considered it but not with any feasibility. I'm also not talking about the kind out of the bucket. While tasty, definitely not worth the weight. I'm talking bring home the chicken, cut it up, let it soak in buttermilk overnight, season it, dredge it, let it rest, heat up the shortening in the cast iron frying pan, fry the chicken, let it rest, eat it with your fingers fried chicken. YUM!
#2, Please do not take away my alcohol. No I am not an alcoholic, far from it. But I live in Kentucky, I like to watch sports - preferably live, I like to play the ponies, I love to have a party, my family comes from a long tradition of bourbon conosiures. There will be drinking.
#3, There will also be chocolate. Don't care about no Hershey bar. I am way to old for that. My weakness is the Bourbon Sea Salt Chocolate Covered Caramels from Ruth Hunt in Mt Sterling, KY. I don't ever want to live in a world where they don't exist.
#4, I am not a vegetarian. I grudgingly respect those that are, but I am an Omnivore. I would totally be carnivorous if it weren't for those pesky fruits and vegetables they tell me I can't live without. So I live with a compromise. I will eat my recommended daily servings of vegetables and fruits. I will lay off the refined carbs and get rid of the trans-fats. I'll eat grilled chicken and fish as much as I can but every now and then I've got to have me a big ol' slightly undercooked juicy hunk of red meat.
#5Cheese. Not Kraft singles, which really isn't even cheese by the way. Not Velveeta - don't even get me started. I like real aged cheddar, smoked cheddar, real Parmesan-reggiano, Maytag blue cheese, a nice caraway Swiss, or an artisanal goat cheese. Just real cheese. That is all.
I guess you can tell that I am a bit of a foodie. That can pose a bit of a problem when trying to lose weight and that sucks. So I suppose that I will never be a size 6 again, but neither am I willing to live on lean cuisine meals and diet soda. No more air puffed cardboard cakes for me. I will eat real food, just slightly less of it, and I will (hopefully) be a happy size 10-12. And I am good with that.
On the other hand there are certain things that diet or not one probably shouldn't eat, at least with any amount of regularity. Since I am not, thank Bob, on any sort of diet I am free to eat pretty much anything I want. But since I am also trying to lose weight, I probably shouldn't eat these things as often as I want to. I tend to subscribe to the French theory of all things in moderation and the Food Inc. theory of eating whatever you want as long as you make it yourself. Some things I am just not willing to give up, even if it does mean dragging out the old cast iron skillet.
So, #1, I am not willing to live without fried chicken. This is definitely not something I would consider eating everyday, well OK, I have considered it but not with any feasibility. I'm also not talking about the kind out of the bucket. While tasty, definitely not worth the weight. I'm talking bring home the chicken, cut it up, let it soak in buttermilk overnight, season it, dredge it, let it rest, heat up the shortening in the cast iron frying pan, fry the chicken, let it rest, eat it with your fingers fried chicken. YUM!
#2, Please do not take away my alcohol. No I am not an alcoholic, far from it. But I live in Kentucky, I like to watch sports - preferably live, I like to play the ponies, I love to have a party, my family comes from a long tradition of bourbon conosiures. There will be drinking.
#3, There will also be chocolate. Don't care about no Hershey bar. I am way to old for that. My weakness is the Bourbon Sea Salt Chocolate Covered Caramels from Ruth Hunt in Mt Sterling, KY. I don't ever want to live in a world where they don't exist.
#4, I am not a vegetarian. I grudgingly respect those that are, but I am an Omnivore. I would totally be carnivorous if it weren't for those pesky fruits and vegetables they tell me I can't live without. So I live with a compromise. I will eat my recommended daily servings of vegetables and fruits. I will lay off the refined carbs and get rid of the trans-fats. I'll eat grilled chicken and fish as much as I can but every now and then I've got to have me a big ol' slightly undercooked juicy hunk of red meat.
#5Cheese. Not Kraft singles, which really isn't even cheese by the way. Not Velveeta - don't even get me started. I like real aged cheddar, smoked cheddar, real Parmesan-reggiano, Maytag blue cheese, a nice caraway Swiss, or an artisanal goat cheese. Just real cheese. That is all.
I guess you can tell that I am a bit of a foodie. That can pose a bit of a problem when trying to lose weight and that sucks. So I suppose that I will never be a size 6 again, but neither am I willing to live on lean cuisine meals and diet soda. No more air puffed cardboard cakes for me. I will eat real food, just slightly less of it, and I will (hopefully) be a happy size 10-12. And I am good with that.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Shhhh. . .Can You Hear It?
My horoscope for today suggested that I should seek some time to myself today in order to still my mind and hear the answers that are waiting for me. I guess the universe really does have all the answers. My mind really could use some stillness today, it is really just a matter of finding the time to indulge it. But the universe says to so I suppose I should obey.
What answers am I seeking, you ask. Well, to be honest, I'm not really sure myself. Do you ever have times in your life when everything seems to be rolling towards some unknown precipice. You can feel it coming, but you don't really know what it is or when it will come. Things seem to be slightly out of control but you can't quite put your finger on just exactly what. That's where I am right now.
I'm not exactly depressed, in fact my mood is pretty good. It's more like a slight anxiety, but that's not really right either. I'm not scared or nervous or anything like that, more like just certain that something is on hte horizon for me and/or my family.
Now for the funniest thing. As I set here quietly writing this a certain calm has come over me. It occurs to me that it doesn't matter what is coming down the road for me. No one ever really knows. The best that anyone can ever do is take care of the people and things that are given to us to take care of and trust that that will be enough.
I suppose things have gotten kind of out of control this summer, as it does every summer with out of school kids and multiple and varied vacations (3 different ones so far) and so forth. Things tend to get pretty lax around here and I know enough about myself to know that I have to have a schedule, at least a rough outline of one.
The answer that has come to me is that I need to get myself and my family back on some sort of, if not schedule, at least order. Get back in the healthy eating routine and back on an exercise schedule for myself. Vacation is officially over for me now and to be quite honest, I'm OK with that. We have travelled over 4000 miles this summer travelling through 9 different states. Yes, we love a road trip. And yes, up north in Wisconsin, and down south at the beach, and way up high in the mountains is very nice. But I can now say with some authority that there is indeed no place like home.
What answers am I seeking, you ask. Well, to be honest, I'm not really sure myself. Do you ever have times in your life when everything seems to be rolling towards some unknown precipice. You can feel it coming, but you don't really know what it is or when it will come. Things seem to be slightly out of control but you can't quite put your finger on just exactly what. That's where I am right now.
I'm not exactly depressed, in fact my mood is pretty good. It's more like a slight anxiety, but that's not really right either. I'm not scared or nervous or anything like that, more like just certain that something is on hte horizon for me and/or my family.
Now for the funniest thing. As I set here quietly writing this a certain calm has come over me. It occurs to me that it doesn't matter what is coming down the road for me. No one ever really knows. The best that anyone can ever do is take care of the people and things that are given to us to take care of and trust that that will be enough.
I suppose things have gotten kind of out of control this summer, as it does every summer with out of school kids and multiple and varied vacations (3 different ones so far) and so forth. Things tend to get pretty lax around here and I know enough about myself to know that I have to have a schedule, at least a rough outline of one.
The answer that has come to me is that I need to get myself and my family back on some sort of, if not schedule, at least order. Get back in the healthy eating routine and back on an exercise schedule for myself. Vacation is officially over for me now and to be quite honest, I'm OK with that. We have travelled over 4000 miles this summer travelling through 9 different states. Yes, we love a road trip. And yes, up north in Wisconsin, and down south at the beach, and way up high in the mountains is very nice. But I can now say with some authority that there is indeed no place like home.
Friday, July 16, 2010
You're Not the Boss of Me!
I finally had to say that to my scale. It was a long time coming, but in the end it was totally worth it. You see, for so long I was a slave to what that number said every morning. The number on a little plastic box that I bought at Wal Mart for less than $50 determined how my day would go.
Stupid, I know. But, evidently, not that uncommon. I was reading a post by Jules over at Big Girl Bombshell (one of my favorite bloggers BTW) and it got me to thinking about my own hate/hate relationship with the scale. It's just a number, right?
Well, yes and no. Yes it is just a number, but it's also what that number represents. All too often all I saw on the face of my scale was shame, disappointment, and failure. How could I let it get this bad? Why am I so fat? Why can't I lose the weight? What's wrong with me?
Turns out, nothing is wrong with me after all. I just didn't have the right tools. And that's all a scale is, you know, a tool. When I first realized that it was mind blowing. What a concept. The scale is just another tool in my weight loss arsenal. No different really than my calorie counter or my workout DVDs. Crazy.
So I stopped caring so much about the number. Sure I still weigh myself every morning. I know they say not to do that or you'll drive yourself crazy. But now I use the number on the scale as more of a guideline. It doesn't rule my life. I can objectively look at it and say, "oh you're up a pound. now what are you going to do to get going back in the right direction?" or "look at that down 2 pounds, must've been doing something right."
"How about we don't let the box of rats ruin our lives?" (if you don't know what that's from, well then, sorry.) And that's all that scale is, a little box of rats. I know, it's a pretty poor metaphor, but come on, it's early.
I have chosen not to let the scale rule/ruin my life. I am looking forward to the day when I reach my goal weight and feel comfortable weighing myself once a month to keep on track. I can't wait until I can feel happy living within a five pound "zone" instead of tracking every pound. But until then I will not obsess over every up and down on the scale. Instead I will use those readings as guides to what my next move should be.
Stupid, I know. But, evidently, not that uncommon. I was reading a post by Jules over at Big Girl Bombshell (one of my favorite bloggers BTW) and it got me to thinking about my own hate/hate relationship with the scale. It's just a number, right?
Well, yes and no. Yes it is just a number, but it's also what that number represents. All too often all I saw on the face of my scale was shame, disappointment, and failure. How could I let it get this bad? Why am I so fat? Why can't I lose the weight? What's wrong with me?
Turns out, nothing is wrong with me after all. I just didn't have the right tools. And that's all a scale is, you know, a tool. When I first realized that it was mind blowing. What a concept. The scale is just another tool in my weight loss arsenal. No different really than my calorie counter or my workout DVDs. Crazy.
So I stopped caring so much about the number. Sure I still weigh myself every morning. I know they say not to do that or you'll drive yourself crazy. But now I use the number on the scale as more of a guideline. It doesn't rule my life. I can objectively look at it and say, "oh you're up a pound. now what are you going to do to get going back in the right direction?" or "look at that down 2 pounds, must've been doing something right."
"How about we don't let the box of rats ruin our lives?" (if you don't know what that's from, well then, sorry.) And that's all that scale is, a little box of rats. I know, it's a pretty poor metaphor, but come on, it's early.
I have chosen not to let the scale rule/ruin my life. I am looking forward to the day when I reach my goal weight and feel comfortable weighing myself once a month to keep on track. I can't wait until I can feel happy living within a five pound "zone" instead of tracking every pound. But until then I will not obsess over every up and down on the scale. Instead I will use those readings as guides to what my next move should be.
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